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It was the last lesson of the day on Saturday and I had found my second teaching wind, which I was super grateful with little ones coming. Since lessons take place in my home studio, I think it's important to introduce my students to my sister and dad when the time is right. This is what some might call a grey area... I'm sure that there are more rigid boundaries about not letting my clients fraternize with my family. However, children are the most curious creatures and since my family walks around and lives while I'm teaching, introducing them helps offset any distraction. Also, my dad and sister are awesome about being a make-shift audience when my students practice performances.
My students and I were playing with some Orff instruments (ones that I've made to be Orff instruments, since the real ones are fairly expensive). My dad and sister both were walking around the house and my students (sisters) paused. This was our conversation.
Student: "Where is your mom?" .....silence...... Me: "My mom died and she is in Heaven" Student : "When did she die?" Me: "Five years ago" Student: "Are you sad?" Me: "Sometimes I'm really sad" Student: "Who tells you stories?" Me, trying not to loose it : "I have lots of stories that my mom already told me" Then *poof* we're back to banging and shaking and making music.
Woah. I talked to my dad the next day about what I should say should that comes up again and he just affirmed that what I said was appropriate. Regardless of my student's religion (even though 90% of them are practicing Catholics) that is my reality. My mom died and she is in Heaven. As a teacher, I feel like I don't have a choice but to 1) be honest and 2) hear out the questions they're asking me. These students are young and like many of my other students, haven't be exposed to a single parent household. I thought the questions they asked me- were really thoughtful and honest, which allowed me to give honest answers as well. It's important to me that they can ask me these big questions. To me, learning and music making are rooted in social values; being sensative, listening, using expression. If that's the environment I'm creating, one where we can be sensative, listen to ourselves and each other and express ourselves then it's no wonder these questions surface.
It's completely different when a parent asks me, as they have in the past. I can explain what happened in adult terms and then they can impart a lesson or explaination to their child in whatever way is comfortable to them. Ultimately, I'm grateful for these moments. They are challenging but important for me as both a teacher and as someone who lost a parent as a teenager. It gives me hope knowing that my students feel safe enough to ask me such honest questions and that our music lessons are starting points for so many life lessons (both in my hands, and out of).