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They eyeroll, they sob, they ignore you and in terms of piano they usually don't practice... but it is immensely important to engage the 'tween' and someone's got to do it!
Since I've been teaching for the last 6 years, I've watched some docile, expressive and loving children slowly begin to morph. They morph into aloof, almost teenagers ready to give me a hairy eyeball when I ask about their life in general. However, the powers vested in the hands of tween-teachers and influencers cannot be taken lightly. Parents and educators have raised the child to access developmental milestones, establish values and behaviours to form non-dependant persons. However, some information provided by Maria Montessori (clickable here) breaks down the psycho-social complexities of being a 'tween'.
Here are 3 of my methods to engage a tween.
1. Game of HORSE
This game has had great response with my tween students. The way it works is that students must get to the end of the song to score a point. For every mistake they get a letter and you do NOT want to spell out HORSE. This was inspired by the basketball game with the same rules. This game can squeeze a ton of repetitions out of a student.
Right Hand - 5 times without getting HORSE
Left Hand - 5 times without getting HORSE
Hands Together - 5 times without getting HORSE.
For students that struggle with the song, or the song is particularly long I use check points to allow them to start from mid-way or the next system so they do not have to repeat the song too many times (I don't want to increase the chance of more mistake-making).
2. Giving them more responsibility
I think what bothers tweens the most is dismissing their experiences and capabilities, while lumping them in with the 'kid' group. So, I try to give my students more roles of leadership or use them as examples. This means asking them to lead games during a party, to perform last or second last at a recital. This could also mean having them mark a worksheet for other students while they are waiting for their sibling's lesson!! GENIUS!!
This translates to :
I need you to help me (purpose) +
I trust you with this task (responsibility) +
I know you will do this well (capability) = ENGAGEMENT!!!! WOOO!!!
3. Let them FAIL
Oh boy, I don't think anyone including parents would want to hear that. However, when push comes to shove you cannot make a tween participate in something like piano.
You can make them brush their teeth, you can make them be polite, you can do all sorts of things in terms of parenting. However, as an educator you cannot. There are limits to what you can do and say because ultimately they are not your (my) children.
That's why I believe that if a student fails their RCM exam, it's a learning experience. I have never had a student fail an RCM exam, however, I have had students get really lucky in the 12th hour of practicing. I have also had hard conversations with parents - in front of students, to let them know that what we are putting in is not enough. I think these conversations have to be delicate, but ultimately can be encouraging.
There are two ways to motivate people : FEAR or INSPIRATION.
I always choose inspiration. So, when I let a student and their respective adult know "Hey, you're not doing enough right now to pass the exam next week" I usually follow it up with
"Think of how great it will be to pass this level" or "Remember how good you felt after last year's exam? Wouldn't it be great to have the same confidence..." Ultimately, if they fail they fail and it will be a learning tool.