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I can remember it all too well. Deanna and I would sit on the bus together for the 10 minute ride home. We'd whisper and gossip and promise our secrets to each other. In some way, sixteen years later, not much has changed. After growing up a little, moving cities, university life and then some, Deanna is still my secret keeper.
When I approached Deanna after years of being disconnected I instantly felt safe. I knew it was the right time and that she was the one to help me. Deanna, previously a professional dancer and now a pilates instructor had the same familiar smile I knew as a kid. So, after creeping her Instagram it was time to ask "Could I be your student?".
Deanna welcomed me with opened arms into what I thought would be the terrifying world of pilates. My first confessed secret : I'm really scared.
My second confessed secret: I have no balance and I'm going to suck.
My third confessed secret : I'm really disconnected to my body and I need help.
I often think about how much my advertising relates to the students I have. Did that sign really make a difference or were my students called to me, like I am called to so many of my teachers? Was it really Deanna's Instagram that drew me to her as my new teacher? Maybe, and yes you should totally check it out! But, kinetically it's far beyond that.
So what am I learning and why is it important? There are three significant things I'm learning with Deanna and here we go.
1. The Art of Confession : I wasn't kidding when I said that Deanna is my secret keeper, and I think that's part of the territory you tread as an educator. If I reflect on my years of teaching, I have kept many many secrets. Some big, some little, some really honest and others were complete fabrications. I've mostly kept secrets from my students, sometimes from parents (like a surprise piano!). So, when I catch myself telling Deanna a secret, or confessing a fear I know I am looking for acceptance and validation, just like my own students. When that moment of vulnerability is met with compassion, joy or excitement a real transformation can begin.
2. Being in my Body : Whenever I tell Deanna I don't think I can do something, she listens, encourages me and then we do it anyway. That's what I so love about working with her, I can be in the discomfort of my body, work through it and find something I never thought possible. There have been moments of feeling so many things happening at once in a single posture I could cry. Not from pain, but simply because that feeling forces me into the present and I couldn't be more grateful.
3. Good Old Faithful : The Learning Curve . Ouch! The last time I dedicated myself to learning something I wasn't good at... was a very long time ago. Who knew role reversal from student to teacher, to student again would be so revealing. Deanna is patient, caring and motivating. She's knowledgeable about the body and about my fears and insecurities that sometimes I don't even have to confess them all. She's also really good at meeting me where I am, so that this learning curve can be on my time and with my spirit.
4. BONUS : I love pilates! I'm learning that Pilates is for every body! It is for anyone who wants to engage their body, feel strong, lengthen, work on posture and more. I haven't needed a registered massage in 5 weeks and that is a really big deal! I used registered massage as a way to wake up my body and alleviate aches and pains, but now my body is ready to to that itself! I might not be a super athlete at it, but it makes me move, it makes me feel good and feel alive! Isn't that what movement is all about? So, yes I will probably keep telling Deanna my secrets and insecurities as I need to share them. I know she will keep them safe. As I start this journey into movement and moving my body, my emotions move with it! As I'm finding and discovering what it means to have a "core", I'm feeling more confident and ready to process these secrets I find myself telling. As I remind myself what it's like to be a nervous student, who is out of their element but willing to try, I'm becoming a better teacher.
________________ Deanna Miconi is an awesome instructor who teaches privately in and around Toronto. You can find her on Instagram, take a class with her at Body Mason or take a leap of faith and try a private lesson. She's doing some pretty cool things, including an upcoming retreat in Italy this fall! Look at her stretch and smile, who doesn't wanna learn from this queen?
